hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
