Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
