my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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