I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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