nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
