I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize