After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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