I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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