That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
