Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
