Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
