i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize