At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
