I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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