I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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