But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
