I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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