I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
