but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
