that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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