I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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