You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
