yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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