So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
