what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
