i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
