Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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