a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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