hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
What a dumb baby whore.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
