I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
