I didn't shave. On purpose
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
