and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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