i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
