We won't sleep together?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize