Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize