There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
