Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
