I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
