I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
My pussy is not your playground.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
