i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
