i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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