i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
