We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
