Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Everclear isn't food dammit
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
