This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
