You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
