dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
