I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
