If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
