Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize