the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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