if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
