32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize