hell yes lets make some ravioli
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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