I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
