There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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