I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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