i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
