I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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